Deepening Conversations
Four Levels

Each conversation that the Lord allows us to have provides us with an opportunity to meet needs. We meet needs most effectively through meaningful and significant relationships. One way to deepen relationships is to learn how to deepen our conversations with the people God has placed around us. Understanding how to do that is what this article is all about.

Level 1 --- General Conversation
Ask and share on the basics: name, family, occupation, where they live now, where they were raised, hobbies, sports, etc.
Keys: Ask questions. Listen.
Goal: To establish common ground.
Pray that God would open doors to personal conversations.

Level 2 --- Personal Conversation
Ask questions about their own background. Questions and statements related to how they FEEL about things. “That must have been a really frustrating time in your life.” “You must have felt pretty low after that.” “How do you feel about this latest current event?”
Keys: Practice healthy self-disclosure. Listen.
Goals: To establish trust.
Pray that God would open doors to spiritual conversation.

Level 3 --- Spiritual Conversation
Seek to discover how they feel about spiritual matters, including values and what they feel is important about life. Questions related to religious background can be appropriate, “I guess I don’t know much about your religious background. Were you raised in a religious home?” Or general questions about spiritual things. “Are you interested in spiritual things?"
Keys: Ask questions. Listen. Don’t compare or critique their ideas or experiences.
Goals: To understand a person’s spiritual interest and beliefs.
Pray that God would open doors to explain the Gospel.

Level 4 --- Gospel Conversations
Transitional questions and statements can be very helpful in level 4 conversation. For example: “Do you feel you are becoming more interested in spiritual thing or less interested? Is there anything that seems to be keeping you from seeking to know more about God? Have you come to a place in your own life where you know for certain that if you were to die today you would go to heaven? On a scale of one to ten how sure are you? If you were to die tonight and stand before God and He were to say to you, ‘Why should I let you into heaven?’ What do you think you’d say?”
Keys: Listen. Know a clear Gospel presentation and be ready to answer common questions.
Goals: To make the Gospel clear and give wise answers to key questions.
Pray that God would give them understanding and open a door for you to invite them to accept Christ.

Consciously attempting to use these 4 levels of conversation and conversing with those we care about in a sensitive and approapriate way can go a long way in helping us to be increasingly effective at leading people to be more open to spiritual conversations.

Source: Don Barkley, Search Ministries Orange County, CA. 1998